Regrets?

My love and i keep missing each other. He was supposed to call me last night. He thought i was gonna call at lunch time (i had said that if he WANTED i would call... when he didn't say anything i figured he didn't want me to). I called him tonight when i got out of work but only got voice mail. i just sent him a text message telling him that i had some time to myself if he felt like talking. Guess he's sleeping.

He tried a trick question today... he wanted to know who my new Dom was. i told him no one, that i wasn't looking. Said i was quite happy with the man that i have and that he's all i want and need. i got the reply "good answer lol". Made me happy to know that he still wants me to himself. That really made my afternoon!

Ever since my best friend and i had that argument, and i just walked away from things... i feel a lot better. Like some kind of weight has been taken from me. i still have all the other problems to deal with. I should have listened to my body sooner, it was telling me that the things i was doing (or trying to do) were wrong. So now i've made a few minor changes to my life... gone back to just a few of the rules that my love (when he was my Master) had set out for me to follow. I try to be in bed by 10:30 every night. I try to limit the time i am on computer. I go to church every Sunday. I say my prayers every night (and try to do at least part of my rosary). Yes, i TRY to be a good Catholic girl. (I said TRY... doesn't mean i always succeed!!) Just those little things have made a difference.

I have taken the stance that i don't need to justify myself to anyone. If people don't like what i am doing that's just tough shit. I don't care. That's what my love has done. If people don't care for what he's doing, or the way he's doing it then it's just too damn bad. That's a pretty good idea.

My friends don't like my love. I respect their views and understand why they feel that way. At this point, though, i'm not going to worry about what he's done in the past. I want to spend time with him in whatever way we can. I am EXTREMELY protective of my love and he knows it. And is happy with it. I may not be there physically with him to deal with things... but it's the thought that counts. And i am fiercely loyal to him. If people can't understand that, well... i can't help that. I know what i feel. And that's all that counts.

Am i going to get hurt? Probably. Will i regret any of this? Never. I know in my heart that what i am doing is the right thing.